bright lights, little village

on my last night at the ashram - the local village of neyyar dam was celebrating its last night of their festival...
the whole village was strung with beautiful lights... it lit up like a fantasy...

the festival ended with it's grand procession -
three trucks carried the men suspended by hooks through the town and then they were blessed at the temple.. and then onto, walking on fire... these men had fasted and meditated for 40 days to do this act of devotion.

what a drastic contrast to my days at the ashram.
it took alot of out me.
i felt torn inside.

all the same, this is their life, their devotion and they were committed with everything they had and that i admire.
gong in with a full, committed heart.

it was quite something to see and be a part of.

and from this little village of neyyar dam... we go onto
trivandrum
kovalam
kochi
until june 2nd --

great escape

so...
we had a day off on friday and we made a "run" for it...

first stop - trivandrum
mina and i left the ashram after our chai addiction at 7:30am.
took a rickshaw into town for about 350Rs (~$8), hour drive - daily life already bustling.

influx of traffic and congestion as we arrived into town.
one goal for the day was to get a sim card, which can be quite tricky and not a "sure thing".
luckily i had mina at my side... and after 2 hours, we got them.

then there is the food factor.
a decadent breakfast at a local joint -was in order.
80Rs for both of us. we had chai, hotsweetened milk, fried banana, roti, curry -- we were ravenous

then...
we took a train from trivandrum to varkala in the afternoon for 60Rs each
first train experience
wow... deep breathe.
the sights and smells were intense.

coming into varkala we met up with a group from the ashram
it is a lovely, quaint beach town with life of the beach up on cliffs above. it was quite quiet as it is low season here and it had some rain early on in the day but nevertheless, it was felt so good to get into that sea and feel the salt water. we lazed around, chatted and let the day pass into night.
spectacular views from our time in the cafes above...

by 9pm, 7 of us piled into a taxi to make the 2 hour drive back to the ashram.
we arrived shortly after 11pm, had to haggle a bit with the driver on price (always, always settle on costs prior to stepping in) and stumbled into our beds to prepare as best we could for our 5:30am wake up meditation the next day.

it was a great escape.

ashram life

so it is five days into it.
i arrived into triandrum at dawn sunday morning and as i came out of customs - i got a prepaid taxi and stepped out into the hot, humid air -- my eyes went wide -- so many people -- for as long as i could see and it was maybe 5am by now. my taxi driver led me to his car -- a beauty, vintage white car and i stepped in. the whole interior was covered with a crazy psychadelic pattern... it took about an hour to get to the ashram even with the two stops. my driver kept falling asleep and had to pour water on him to wake up as much as possible... what do you do...
i was completely out of synch first two days. a great surprise on my first day. i sat down at brunch and i saw this familiar face. no way could i know someone worlds away from nyc. but i knew her for sure. it was megan - a girl i did the teacher training with at YTTP two years ago. both our eyes lit up and smiles broad across our face. it was such a delight to get this...

slowly but surely, meeting all the people coming and going to the ashram. some pretty amazing people. the daily schedule is exhausting, not used to 4 hours of yoga a day plus 2 meditations where we sit cross legged for about an hour and half each time. my high for the day is chai tea sweetened with jarggery (palm sugar) which is served after morning meditation -- and just in time -- before our morning yoga asana class. we did a meditation at the lake last night. the walk there was through the local village, over the dam and it is filled with so much stimulation. coming from nyc, i think i am over stimulated already but here it cuts to the core. it has been hard cutting the cord from nyc life and being present. i continuously have to remind myself where i am and to be present... then the shift takes place and i am good.

india is expanive.
expanisve in its senses, sights, memories.
so much here to take in.

ashram life is very humbling and inspiring. to tell the truth, i was in a bit of shock the first couple of days. everything is so paired back, so spartan -- but there is something to that -- it allows you to come closer to your internal self and find a different level of being. though, there are so many visuals and sounds to attract my mind. the constant sweeping, birds frolicking, distant music playing, distant chanting... vivid and full. the days are passing so fast though and i am completely done in by 9pm every day. cannot believe how much energy is expended but it is somehow here. i have not had much energy to read but always keen to get my notebook out and write, write, write... at first, i thought there was no way i could make it through the two weeks but now as ihave made connections with others - i wonder how i will move on from here... so strange but comforting how quickly we can adjust. it is such a strength and liberating to see and feel and know we can take on change, however beautiful and however tragic it can be, somehow we have this resolve within us that if we can tune into it, we will transcend.

much love --

send off

all my lovelies... sending me on my way...
lani - catherine - jules (+odin) - hana

big kiss
until next time.

w a n d e r l u s t

first stop = I N D I A

so today is the day i embark on my wanderlust.
i fly out at midnight from JFK via Doha and then into Trivandrum, India.

i think about the time invested, energy invested into this leap... it seems like it came ever so quickly but at the same time, the moment is here and i do feel right on mark with going...

the literal definition of wanderlust = very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.
so it is.

this week has been a building up to getting my feet off the ground in new york and planted across the waters. my first stop is india. i am plan on traveling through india for six weeks. i fly into kerala where i will be going to the Sivananda yoga ashram for two weeks to get me grounded in my new rhythm of life. i have studied some of Sivananda's philosophy during my yoga teacher training three years ago at Yoga To The People in the east village. that commenced the start of my yoga practice and it came at a time where yoga became my saving grace. so much of my body, spirit and soul has evolved leaps and bounds since then so it feels fitting to start my journey with yoga. the Sivananda ashram has quite a rigorous daily schedule - not much free time to explore but it works - it will allow myself to get my mind focused and my heart adjusted...

Ashram Daily Schedule:
5:30 am - Wake-up bell
6:00 am - Satsang (Silent Meditation, Mantra Chanting, Lecture)
8:00 am - Asanas, Relaxation
10:00 am - Brunch
4:00 pm - Yoga
6:00 pm - Dinner
8:00 pm - Satsang
10:00 pm - Lights out

phew
deep breathe... big breathe...

it has been incredible to see all my loved ones all around me -- supporting, encouraging and literally " pushing" me to get on the plane tonight. i am a lucky one. i have such a fantastic and loving core group of friends and family - who i would not be able to do this without.

thank you to all of you -
my heart goes out to you -
i will carry you with me on my travels -


"whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. boldness has genius, power and magic in it"
- Goethe

belonging ---

sometimes we get the chance to experience an connection to a place and time... and this moment gives us an undeniable sense of belonging.

NYC has given me this.

i took this photo last summer whilst in Paris - i had i subletted an apartment on Rue Charlot, in the spectacular Marais neighborhood. it was my last day, as i was about to return to NYC. i was wandering around and i came upon these painted stencils scattered throughout the streets and it hit me, like a thrust -- a sense of belonging.

This notion of "belonging" is something i have been grappling with in the days coming up to my departure of my life here in NYC and moving towards a journey of unknowns. It is exhilarating and nerve racking all bundled up in the same instance. this is what it is all about...

a dear friend of mine gave me a book of poetry last year called The House of Belonging by David Whyte. There was one poem in particular that stayed with me and I must of read it hundreds, maybe thousands of times. it seems fitting to share this poem with all of you now, as it is quite timely.

The Journey
David Whyte

above the mountains the geese turn into the light again
painting their black silhouettes on an open sky.

sometimes everything has to be enscribed across the heavens
so you can find the one line already written inside you.

sometimes it takes a great sky to find that
first, bright and indescribable wedge of freedom in your own heart.

sometimes with the bones of the black sticks left when the fire has gone out
someone has written something new in the ashes of your life.

you are not leaving
you are arriving.

tracks #41

Richard Serra

Tracks #41

this art has stuck with me for quite some time now and has become the source of inspiration of so much of where i am and as i embark on this journey.

there is something quite magical when i think of "tracks" -- this motion of imprints, impressions, moments, reflections all with a parallel yet dynamic constant motion.

the gesture of this art piece emanates...
boldness - grace - reverence
all of which i hope to embrace in fullness.